Fluffy, the Spiteful Cat

Fluffy is a cat that doesn't take it lightheartedly having been neutered and swears revenge. The below short story is from a Daily Prompt app story starter about a pet that ruins an event. I own 6 cats (each with their own unique personality, thank goodness none like Fluffy..) so I had a lot of fun writing this story. If you are not celebrating Valentine's Day tomorrow or if you really don't care about it, perhaps you will enjoy finding out how Fluffy makes sure his "owner" won't get married. In the meantime, check my debut novel, Wolf Soul, available on Amazon (paperback and ebook) and let me know what your thoughts are. 

Fluffy, the Spiteful Cat

They say cats are treacherous and can’t be trusted and I’m the living proof of that. I never forgave Claire for the worst thing you can do to a big, majestic, black cat like me. You guessed it. What an offence to my masculinity and dignity! Might as well have been the most humiliating day of my life: waking up in that vet bed feeling that part of me - the most important part of me - was missing. Then she came, all smiles and cuddles as if she had saved the world. I wanted to bite and scratch her so badly but controlled myself for one very simple reason: revenge is best served cold.

Claire took me home and nursed me devotedly. I took pleasure in ignoring her and leaving the bowls full of the expensive food she was spending a fortune on just to try to please the “Oh poor thing, I know it must be hard for you.” Do you, Claire? How would you feel if they did the same to William?

Then it hit me. William... your boyfriend didn’t really like me but tolerated me because you loved me so much. I had bitten him once when he awkwardly tried to pet me and since then we had been enemies. When I realized he was going to propose, I thought my big chance was coming. No, Claire, if I can’t have a girlfriend, you can’t have a boyfriend, let alone a husband. So I started plotting something evil...

A little party at your flat to announce the good news seemed like the perfect scenario for my plan. I loved seeing your efforts to have everything in order: the food, the decorations, the clothes... I do admit you really went the extra mile. I almost felt sorry but hell, you deserved it. First thing I did, right after the first couple of guests arrived was to pee on the guy’s jacket that he had placed on the chair back. His face when he realised it was priceless. I laughed out loud in my own feline way.

“Geez, how the heck am I going to get rid of this smell now?”

“I’m so sorry, Jack, please let me go wash it for you. Fluffy must be very nervous with all the movement around today.”

That’s the thing I love about you, Claire. You defend me even when I am an asshole. Your fiancé wasn’t so forgiving. He tried to grab me to lock me in your bedroom, but I wasn’t having it. I just hunched my back and started growling and hissing at him like a maddened panther. Gave him a really nice scratch when his hand got too close. Loved seeing the blood oozing. I can be maniacal like that.

“You little mf!” the despicable idiot raged at me. Our eyes met, nobody could say which of us distilled more hatred.

“I’m so sorry. Fluffy must be very nervous today. I’ll take him to the bed room and lock him there.” Claire said apologetically, her face all red with shame. As she tried to grab me I ran away and hid.

“Hope he stays where he is.” William the idiot grumbled, holding his scratched hand with the other to stop the blood seeping.

I will, you moron. But not for long, you won’t even have time to miss me.

All the guests had arrived and I decided to let them all calm down for now and give them the false belief all was back to normal. But I was observing everything from my corner. I heard them relax and laugh, then Claire went to the kitchen to fetch the roast and the champagne. They all got up and William himself filled all the flute glasses. Just as he took his arm around Claire’s waist and lifted his glass to announce the news, I darted from my spot.

“It is mine and Claire’s pleasure to announce that...”

“Fluuuuffffyyy!!”

I had just jumped onto the table, spilt the champagne bottle and was now marking my territory on the roast. Yes, I may not have nuts anymore, but I still mark my territory pretty well.

William tried to catch me again with the help of his own jacket but I was devil-possessed. I was growling, meowing, hissing and spitting like a demon and scratched his jacket and hands every time he got too close. Claire busied herself trying to catch me too, her hair disheveled and face sweaty. All the guests stared at the three of us in disbelief as if they were watching a dark comedy. I was crazed and as I ran away to hide, I tore down a few more glasses, plates and whatever else I could.

“This cat is mad!”

Needless to say the guests didn’t take long to leave. Claire had tears in her eyes. She mumbled apologies as they left but none said a word. As to William...

“Claire, you have to get rid of this demon. Are you sure you took him for the rabies vaccine? ‘Cuz he really acted rabid.”

Yeah yeah, call me rabid, you moron. What would you do if you had your nuts taken too?

“I’m so sorry, Will. I think he was just very nervous and truth be said you both never really liked each other. I think he feels that from you.”

That’s my Claire! Yes, it’s his fault, not mine. Go on.

“Yes, blame me now. The cat is nuts but it’s my fault.” William rubbed his face with his hand as if trying to stop a sudden impulse to break something.

“Not blaming you, but I think Fluffy feels you don’t like him and gets defensive. Maybe if you tried to befriend him...”

Oh, I loved this!

“Befriend this wretch?! Are you out of your mind too, Claire? Really? This cat ruins our dinner and I’m supposed to befriend him?”

The argument went on to my big delight. About 15 minutes later William left too, leaving a “It’s him or me, Claire.” in the air.

I didn’t see him for a few days but during that time I pretended to be the sweetest cat in the world. I let Claire pet me, cuddle with me, I even rubbed against her ankles and hands whenever she tried to stroke me. I was the total opposite of what she had seen on that fateful evening. But when William returned... the beast in me returned too. No, there was no way you would marry him, Claire. As I said, no girlfriend for me, no husband for you.

William broke up. Claire cried her eyes out but I was delighted. She would never get rid of me because oh I was such a sweetie and it was William who didn’t understand. She had a couple more boyfriends after him but I played my part really well. They all thought I was evil - and indeed I am - and that she was crazy for choosing her cat over them.

So now it’s just the two of us, my dear. The funny thing is, you call me “my cat, my Fluffy” but who owns who? I destroyed your love life and you didn’t even realize it. You keep worshiping me as if I was a deity. That’s the hilarious thing about humans. You call yourselves cat owners without the slightest idea that WE, cats, are the ones who own you and rule your lives.